Moderator: JR Moderator
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- Posts: 5737
- Joined: Saturday, 07 March 2009, 22:35 PM
- Radio: RCI 2950 Mirage
- Antenna: 2ft Wire hanger
- Cell Phone: 1-800-MUD-DUCK
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*1.* *Law of Mechanical Repair*
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch
and you'll have to go to the bathroom.
*2.* *Law of Gravity*
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible
place in the universe.
*3.* *Law of Probability*
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity
of your act.
*4.* *Law of Random Numbers*
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always
*5.* *Variation Law*
If you change lines at the checkout (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always
move faster than the one you are in now.
*6.* *Law of the Bath *
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
*7.* *Law of Close Encounters*
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you
are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
*8.* *Law of the Result*
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
*9.* *Law of Bio Mechanics*
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
*10.* *Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena*
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always
arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to
go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the
performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly
legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The
aisle people also are very surly folk.
*11.* *The Coffee Law*
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
*12.* *Murphy's Law of Lockers*
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent
*13.* *Law of Physical Surfaces*
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
*14.* *Law of Logical Argument*
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.
*15.* *Law of Physical Appearance*
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
*16.* *Law of Public Speaking*
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!
*17.* *Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy*
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making
it OR the store will stop selling it!
*18.* *Doctors' Law*
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the
time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and
you'll stay sick.
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